I did have something to do with it

As much as MT looks like his father - Check these out:
(notice the safe 1970 carseats)








This one even resembles him - It's My dad


Needless to Say - MT is a great Mix

Unusuals

*MT stands for Monkey Toes

Yesterday was an unusual day for me

First - I woke up and was re-visited by an old acquaintance. AF .... Yes HER ... Yesterday was exactly 6 weeks from delivery. I am still pumping and BF-ing. I panicked. All research denotes that supply drops off after the first cycle. I have to say chalk one more weirdness up to my body .. My supply has improved over the past 3 days. Let's hope that continues to be the trend. It is a VERY weird feeling to have a period and not need to call a dr about it to plan for upcoming treatments. For the last 2 yrs, the routine has been CD1- call Dr. and notify it's CD1 .... Now, It's CD1, I wasn't expecting it ... I thought it would stay away longer and most likely need to be medically induced. I am unsure if I can use tampons yet. My next re-check is Monday. I guess I could call and ask. This is just something I was not expecting at all. I am interested to see how this is going to affect my PCOS and cycles.

Second - My husband and I had a very good conversation about my next dr.'s appointment, our future and our relationship. My very lovely, patient husband reminded me of what he has had to endure over the past year. He has been neglected in certain ways over the past 12 months. He was not complaining, we were sharing our feelings about where we are now mentally and where we needed help, love, support and what we needed to keep our relationship growing and moving in the same direction. I appreciate him so much, I appreciate his faithfulness, his character, his companionship, his love, his patience ...i could go on and on! It was a great talk, one highly needed and done with such openness and a compassionate heart and temperament.

During this talk- We discussed my upcoming Dr appointment. I told him that the Dr is going to want to talk birth control. We both are of the same mindset - no pill. I have been pumping my body with hormones for yrs - to induce a period, try to induce ovulation, and conceive....I am still bfing - therefore my options are limited - and we are ok forgoing the whole pill option and use other less medical options .. It's a risk we are willing to take

Lastly - We went to a pediatric urologist to discuss a body part I have little knowledge and experience with. Overall, it was a great appointment - the dr thinks that most of his situations will correct themselves in his first yr. He was glad his pediatrician was so attentive and wants us to come back in 6 months for another look/see. He has a few very minor ad.hes.ion's and a hydr.ocele - all are very common and tend to correct themselves.

Things with our daily routines are back to normal - less crying, more happy times, lots more smiles and alert behavior, and eating about every 3-3.5 hours. I am hoping to decide on a place to take MT to get professional pictures soon - He is changing daily.

6 Weeks

We are making progress in our BF-ing attempts. The mom group on Friday was such a great, informative, re-assuring experience. I found out that 6 weeks is a transition/growing stage. I was not alone, It will pass ... all music to my ears. I needed to hear that it is normal and expected - I also was given some Ideas and comfort. (thank you for all of you who made suggestions! I did read hap.piest baby on the blo.ck)
We went on a "roadtrip"trip. My Aunt, Uncle and Grandmother flew down to meet MT. We all drove 2.5 hours away yesterday for my sister to see MT. I was beyond nervous - But It went miraculously well and gave me more confidence in the whole leaving the house anxiety. We went and got a gadget that allowed me to power my breastpump in the car. I pumped a few times yesterday in the car - which also gave me more confidence "on the go". It seems like this "all" becoming very managable.

Of Course, I leave you pictures:

Cake and Cuddles

Thank you for The Birthday Wishes. We had a really good day and that night MT gave me a birthday present of sleeping 9 hours. I was actually very grateful for 7 of them and then spent 2 hours pacing - finally I decided to wake him up and make sure he was ok. *which he was but I apparently am overly paranoid with certain things*

We are going to our first bf mom's infant support groups at the hospital I delivered at in the morning at 10. I am excited to go and see how I do amongst others that are moms and have children MT's age. It will be my first meet/greet mom style. It's a weird territory for me. I called a friend to make sure I was supposed to bring MT with me. I didn't want to show up kid in tow and find out that childs are not supposed to be in tow ... *i know i know ... I am learning.. E says it's a B.Y.O.B Party (he can't decide if the last B is bo.ob or baby) Yes yes I know he is not RIGHT .. MT and I have been working on our bf'ing. I say we have about 2 good latches a day. We are trying and not giving up he is gettin the hang of it. We actually nursed from both sides today. He is a one side only kind of bf-er - But it's progress.

Ok calling all seasoned/newly/wise/experienced/nonexperienced/etc. Mom's/or women with ideas - The past 2 days we have had some really clingy/crying hours. From about 10am-2pm he has decided to only nap if I am holding him, and if i put him down he does this cry like he is being squeezed in a vice and twisted. It's awful. Before 2 days ago .. he would go from a whine to a whimper and if not fast enough to meet his "needs" then a cry like you are squeezing the ever loving breathe out of him ... Now we skip all whine/fus/whimper and go straight to the death cry .... I have found that the paci works WONDERS .. (until it falls out or he pulls it out) ..shhsing also works .. I absolutely have to keep the paci in his mouth or else .... We are now repeating this lil "exercise" as we speak ....... he is in the swing, i just have to make sure the paci stays in .... he is fed, changed, burped, clean, no fever ...... any ideas? this a familiar phase to anyone?

this cute lil face is who I'm referring about:


ME WANT CAKE:

Happy

Birthday to me! MT turns 5 weeks today and is happy and healthy. I think this may be the best birthday so far.

Working the Planner out of Me

Welp E has been back to work for a week and we are all still alive albeit in survival model. I went from having lots of help to - having to help lots .... E works 12 hour shifts - This means that for a span of 3 days - It's all me. 24 hours a day .... just me, E has to get some sleep to function on the job. I am sure that this will get easier, I was used to having a few extra hands for a month -- It's only been a week - we have learned to adjust. It will only get better

I went to a funeral for a close friend's father on Thurs., WOW add that to a list of things Not to do after having a baby so soon. The tears started flowing and flowing and before I know it, I could not. Thursday/early Friday morning was rough, It seemed like my mind was overwhelmed with trying to process too many things that I didn't have time to process while suffering from sleep deprivation. I had a long talk with myself in the shower Friday morning -I am having a hard time with this weird no rhythm or reason phase.
I am still pretty much doing on demand feedings. Sometimes he will go 6 hours -if he was sleeping (allowed by our pediatrician)- sometimes he will only make it 2.75 hours. He is trying to be more awake and alert during the day, I notice that I have to feed him sooner.

I find that parenting books/site frustrate me. They cause me anxiety. E keeps having to remind me that MT is ONLY 4 weeks old. I want a practical book/info site that gives realistic expectations/timelines. I was trying to push a schedule on a 4 week old... I was forgetting that he is doing AMAZING. He only cries when hungry or needs changing. He is really happy. It's ok if he doesn't eat at the exact same time every day. Uhm, can you tell I'm a structured planner?!?! This not being able to plan/predict part is the hardest for me.

Help - I have developed leaving the house anxiety! Because I cannot predict/plan. My parents are trying to help me figure out how to adjust - and I appreciate their efforts. I give them a time that I plan on leaving the house to go to theirs - so far every attempt has resulted in not going as planned. It seems that I say i want to leave at 12 because MT is do to eat at 1 -1:30 ... MT will want to eat at 12. or need a diaper change THEN want to eat .. I am told the older MT gets, the easier this all becomes. I am unsure - I think it may get easier because I get more trained ;) I say all of this with a smile on my face- having the time of my life. It is definitely a work in progress and although some days are more guesswork than others - we are all alive, fed, changed, showered, and dressed every day. It really is a weird, overwhelming, chaotic, exciting, amazing and chaotic time and I am still enjoying every minute of it.

stolen from Allison (it's her birthday!): my wordle



It's Sara's birthday tomorrow!